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I had an epiphany.
And maybe it’s something everyone else has always known, but for me this is a big deal. Because it completely changes how I see my life. Completely.
It was one of those days again, the kind where you are crying uncle by lunch time. I felt like the waters were up around me so high, they were just about to crash down on top of me and drown me. Yep, I was overwhelmed and felt like I couldn’t catch my breath.
I reached out to a few friends and asked them to pray.
I have to pause here and just tell you – this reaching out was a big deal for me. It’s really hard for me to do that sort of thing, and sometimes I would rather just not talk to anyone when I’m in the drowning zone. This pulling back, the putting on of the metaphorical mask – I’ve always been like that. The mask is that “nothing’s super great but nothing’s super bad so just don’t mind me. I don’t deserve a minute of your time, in fact I’m ashamed that I’m even having a problem” kind of mask.
This is also called low self-worth, and ladies, if you do this, I understand. I do. I have taken 2013 to be intentional in healing those things that lie to me and say I’m not enough. I am enough, and I’m worth someone’s time. And you are too.
But back to my story.
It was a drowning type of day, and I reached out and asked for prayer and my friend said that she prayed for me and heard, “Don’t lose heart.”
That little phrase comforted me so much in that moment. It was completely what I needed to hear.
But then things got worse. And worse. And the next day I was past the drowning stage, fully submerged in stress and even a little despair, quite ready to lose my marbles. I was starting to – yep – lose heart. I really was. And I didn’t understand how God had told me not to lose heart just a day earlier, when He knew everything was about to get so much worse.
But then it dawned on me. Call it an epiphany or a revelation or a light bulb moment. I had one.
God hadn’t told me through my sister friend, “Don’t lose heart,” because I needed to hear it for what had happened to me. The truth was that I actually needed to not lose heart in the things that were to come. I needed that miracle thought, that encouragement, to come to mind when the things that happened next were upon me.
The way my spirit buoyed when I realized that the encouragement was for what was coming – well, it was miraculous. I could breathe again. I knew that God had me, because he was already preparing me before I knew I needed preparation.
I really believed that I didn’t, in fact, have to lose heart, because the soft and gentle arm holding me up was already there when the bad things happened to me.
So, when you have faith, or a knowing, or a spirit-inspired encouragement that things will be okay, and then they get worse, do you feel disheartened? Or do you see that past encouragement as timely for your right now?
I would love to hear how you apply past encouragement to your right now, to your today.
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By Arianne, from Mabel + Riv
